Being Lost and Finding Oneself Again

A message to our Triathlon and Endurance Club community… we do not exist only for training our athletic bodies, we exist for the person inside the athlete’s body too. – personal thoughts from Coach Sarah


Being Lost and finding oneself again….


Have you been there? In that space of forgetting who you really are, forgetting what really drives you, forgetting what motivates you, forgetting what gives you that natural jumpstart to start each day with a breath of hope versus a sense of dread?


This is a space I’ve been in for months (the space of feeling lost), and it has been culminating more tightly and powerfully for the past handful of weeks. Those of you reading this who know me personally, know this is not who I am, or how I am. It’s a scary place to be.


You may be wondering why am I writing about this to our community at large, and why I think that what I am experiencing might matter to anyone else out there.


Because I believe we are all inextricably integrated together as humans, and what one person is feeling, is often not a far stretch from what the person next to them might be feeling, or perhaps has felt, or might some day feel. And it was during several moments of our group bike ride the other morning that I felt that reminder most impactfully and powerfully.

 

My dear friend, and fellow Triathlon Club coach, Jada Butler, performed a Reiki massage on me a couple of weeks ago. My energy has gotten way out of balance in response to this loss of self I’ve been experiencing. As such, I reached out to Jada, and asked if she would do a Reiki treatment on me, as this is an area she has an amazing natural gift for within her scope of wellness coaching with Soul Via Sole. What I learned from this treatment were insights to my own deep inner self that just keep being shoved further and further down inside of me, with no healthy outlet.


Here is why I am writing about this treatment: My own culminating loss of self, due to some massive emotional trauma I’ve been subjected to over the last couple of years has made me lose my natural desire to engage in physical activity… and as such, I’ve stopped taking care of ME, first and foremost.


The input of daily life into our souls, exiting via an output of physical energies, is a cycle, a beautiful circle.

Those of us in our endurance community here all

thrive and evolve via our love of physically exerting ourselves…whether it be via cycling, or running, or swimming, or strength training, or walking…we ALL have found respite to the daily grind and stresses of life through physically pushing ourselves in a way that allows these stressors to exit our bodies. We take in stresses from the day, and we allow them to outlet themselves in a healthy way via our training.


But what Jada discovered in me during that Reiki treatment was an enormous volcano simmering deep in me that needed an outlet. The volcano came to be, bec